The Plainsman Press - South Plains College

Stefanie Bradford, guest writer

As some of you already know, I got married in May. The wedding was hectic, but beautiful, and our honeymoon turned out to be exactly what we had hoped for. It has been six months since Bryce and I said “I do,” and both of us agree that married life could not be better.

One of our mutual friends, Tyron, is also in love and has a wonderful and fully committed relationship. The two of them have been together for nine years already and are planning a big celebration for their upcoming 10-year anniversary next February.

Family members, friends, and many of their colleagues are going to be invited to celebrate with him. It’s going to be a big party. But there is one setback. It will be just that, a party, and not a wedding. Now, you might say, why are they not married already, right? I mean, after all these years together. The answer that comes to mind is most likely. The guy has a commitment phobia.

But this is not the case here. Both are very much committed to this relationship. Yet even though they are in love, they are restricted from showing their commitment through marriage. How come? Ty and his partner are in their early 30s, have established careers, and celebrate holidays at their “in-laws.”

There is only one aspect which distinguishes them from the “usual” married couple. Ty’s partner’s name is not Andrea, but Andrew. Yes, Ty and Andrew are a gay couple. Now, I am asking myself, how come this is such a shock to some of you? And why is this one, very personal, aspect of their life of such interest to so many Americans? How could their gender possibly change the meaningfulness of their love. Is the idea of a committed, loving relationship really impossible only because Ty and Andrew are not Liz and Matthew?

What really comes to mind, whenever I hear the outrage of some individuals about gay marriage, is what are these people afraid of? If Ty and Andrew would be allowed to get married, they would be the same wonderful loving couple as they are already, but they would have legal rights and protection under the law. In case one of them ever get into a car accident, the other would be allowed hospital visitation as a spouse, and in case of medical decisions, would have a say in the treatment of the person he had spent most of his adult life with. They would be granted widower pay after the death of their partner, and could plan the burial. But besides all these aspects, Ty and Andrew, as well as the other gay couples, could finally celebrate their commitment publicly. Now, why would this be so horrible?

There are 43,000 same-sex couples in Texas alone. Do you really have the right to deny them marriage? After all, Americans are equal under the law. Well, not really. When it comes to marriage, there is a difference. There is a right way to love, and a wrong way. Does this really make sense to you? When two adults are in love with each other, do you really believe you have the right to judge them?

I know my sense of commitment to my husband is in no way reduced just because another couple is allowed to get married. And it would make no difference to me personally if that married couple were a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. I married Bryce because I want to grow old with him and have a family together with this man. Nobody can change that.

How could a gay marriage possibly shake the institution of marriage? I am asking all the opponents out there, would you love your wife less because your neighbor marries HIS husband?